My daughter Jennifer is just finishing a missions trip to California. The rest of her team flew out of San Fransico this morning at 6am and she stayed behind at the church that they spent the night at it get a rental car and drive up to the camp she worked at the past 3 summers to spend a couple of weeks helping out there and seeing her friends that are working there this summer. We thought we had everything all set with a car reserved with the one that "picks you up". She called them yesterday to make sure everything was set up and they told her to call them this morning about picking her up. This morning she calls them and they tell her that they will not pick her up because there is another one of their offices a block from her. Well the reason for not reserving the car there was that on line and through our travel agent we were told that she could not rent there and drop it off somewhere else. She did not want to rent the car for over 2 weeks while she is at the camp. The office that we reserved the car at did let you drop the car off somewhere else. They told Jenn that she could call a cab and that they would pay for $7 of the fare. Well living out in the sticks you do not have a lot of reason for using a cab, we thought they would probably need cash and she did not have much on her. Jenn was getting pretty anxious about getting to the car rental. I told her to sit tight I would get back with her in a little while. I don't know what I was thinking about who I am. Was I thinking that I could straighten out this situation? I called the rental office and told asked them about all of this that we were told that they could pick her up and that the office a block from her would not rent to have it dropped off at another location. She said that they would have that we should have called that office directly instead of dealing with the on-line information. She said that she absolutely could not have someone come and get her at that time. She did call the other office to see if they would have a car that she could get and they did not. She gave me the number for yellow cabs and said that they would take a credit card. Called Jenn back and told her that she was going to have to call the cab and to use the credit card. Ended my call with her with what we have tried to have as our way of looking at things the last couple of years, "Thank you God for opportunities to grow". She called later and was on the road. They did not have the economy car that we had reserved, she was in a big black 4 door Dodge pick up truck that had an almost empty gas tank. She said that was all they had so she was getting this truck at the same rate as the little economy car. The only problem with that is that it will cost her a lot more for gas. I hope she finds a station before running out of gas. At this time she is driving herself up to Lucerne in this big black truck.
Oh yeah, she also told me that after she called the cab she went out to wait on the steps of the church and then saw a homeless person sleeping in the courtyard. At that point she wished she had not left the door shut and lock behind her. But he stayed asleep, the cab picked her up and she is on her way.
The lesson is to stay calm even when things are not going the way you planned and things will work out. Everytime Jenn has gone through something like this she comes up with more information on what to do if things do not go as planned the next time. So Thank you God for all opportunities to grow, big or small. The other lesson is, don't always believe the advertisements that you see on TV.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Being thankful for the talents that we have been given and letting go of those we haven't.
That is quite a title isn't it? I could have shortened it I guess. But here is what has lead to it. About 5 years ago we finally went to satellite TV instead of amish cable (antenna). With that comes HGTV, TLC, DIY and Food network. These has wet my appitite for getting more creative, but sometimes you just do not have the natural abilities to be all that creative. I've always said that I am a paint by numbers person not the blank canvas and just go to it. I used to have most of the house wall papered and the rest was painted off white. But thanks to watching enough room make over shows I've taken down most of the wallpaper and there are no off white walls left in the house. We still have 2 wallpapered bathrooms but who knows how long that will last. The problem comes in when it comes to finding the right color for on the wall. My dear husband picked out the dinning room/office color. It is perfect. He did such a good job with it. I liked it so well I took the wallpaper off of the half bath down stairs and painted it that same color (good use of left over paint too). But since that room I have painted the living room 3 times to get the color that I wanted and the kitchen twice ( It still is brighter then I would have liked but Lark says he likes it. I think he says that though to keep me from painting it again.) I started when I went to our bed room to just buy a quart of what I wanted to try and if I didn't like it I would get another quart. I went through 5 different colors before I got one that I could live with. So now what has prompted this I was getting antsy to redo another room so I took the wallpaper off of my oldest daughter's old room and I thought I've got this mastered now. I had always had trouble with getting the paint too light so I went to a fabric shop to see if I could find the color in fabric where it would be larger so I could tell what it would really look like. WELL, I couldn't find a solid fabric, but I found one that had a color in it that I liked so I put my paint samples from the store up to it and found one that matched pretty well, but when I got to Lowes to get the paint under their lights that one just did not look good and I changed it at the last minute. WELL when I opened it up and started putting it on the wall I knew that this was way to dark. It was going to make a small room really look small. So I got this really great Idea of buying a quart of white and mixing it with the 3 quarts or so that I had left. It did not make much difference only enough that I will have to go back and repaint what I had already painted and it won't make a lot of difference. SO I am just going to live with this color and go real light with the curtains and bed spread. I was starting to beat myself up over this but you know what, this is just not one of the talents that God has blessed me with. Maybe I need to hire an interior designer to get what I really want in paint and spend my time on the talents that God has given me. OH but then there is the food network, that is another whole story. But I am off right now to have lunch with a very dear friend that I don't want to keep waiting.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Are we too full of ourselves?
On a church sign in our area (actually saw this on 2 different church signs) God can not fill us if we are too full of ourselves. That may not be word for word what it said but close. That is really true. We need to be empty to let God fill us with his goodness. How can we find contentment? Is is in trying to meet our needs and working to get all we can get for ourselves? I don't think so. We never manage to meet all our needs and we always want more. But if we are looking at how can I serve God better we can be content with what we have. How can I serve others? Then we stop thinking so much of what we want or feel that we need. Our culture is so concerned with getting our needs met. With having a good self esteem. But I've found that looking at what I can do for someone else has made life so much better. If we are always looking at what we do not have we are always going to feel down about it. I suffered from depression for so many years and it wasn't until I stopped looking at how I was feeling and what I needed to feel better that I felt better. Learning to be content where I was.
Not letting bitterness invade our minds also is key to staying out of the depression. Just the other day, I was feeling that I was being made fun of by my daughter and husband. She and her husband are building a new house and I talked her into starting a blog and putting pictures of the house as it is being built on the blog. They had been away for a week on vacation and had been back for 2 days and I was bugging her about where new pictures were and they were laughing at me for being so buggy, or I guess antsy is the term used. I started to get upset that I was being mad fun of, and how dare they do that to me, and thinking, I'll just show them, I won't even check their blog anymore or be interested in what they are doing. Although I thought I'll check it, I'll just not let them know that I am checking it. And the longer I went on with that kind of thinking the lower I was feeling. I finally sort of kicked myself in the butt and told myself to cut it out that no one was meaning to upset me, I was only hurting myself in holding this grudge, they didn't even know that I was feeling hurt. So just let it go and once again be happy for my daughter and not be going lower into the bad feelings. Boy sometimes I can be so stupid. I caught myself doing this a while back and you would think that I would have learnt from that but I didn't, I had to do it again. Maybe next time I won't take as long to remember.
Now on the lighter side. I went shopping the other day. My mom had given me money for my b-day and so an opportunity to spend money. But I can't find anything that I really like. I can't wait for these big wild prints to go back out of style. But before that I couldn't wait for the manufactures to start making tops longer, as I do like them to come down past the top of my pants a ways and they do now again. But now it is these great big prints and tops that look like maternity tops. I have enough trouble with looking pregnant. But I guess at my age most people figure I'm just fat. If something is a solid color it is something so bright that it screams "look at me". People can see you coming for a mile away. I was in the dressing room trying on a couple of things I found that were not too wild and overheard someone else trying on clothes. Her mother had brought her in something to try on that I did not see as I was trying on clothes at the time. I heard her tell her mother that they were too bright for her. I thought someone just like me. She did not want to be seen coming for a mile away either. Then her mom asked if she wanted a white shirt and she said she was not responsible enough for white. I thought oh what a kindred soul and I didn't even know her or I couldn't see her either. I had never thought about it as being responsible enough for white, but that is me. But I guess I am not really responsible enough for any color then as far as that goes. Maybe I should look into some of those great big prints as maybe it would hide my irresponsibility.
Not letting bitterness invade our minds also is key to staying out of the depression. Just the other day, I was feeling that I was being made fun of by my daughter and husband. She and her husband are building a new house and I talked her into starting a blog and putting pictures of the house as it is being built on the blog. They had been away for a week on vacation and had been back for 2 days and I was bugging her about where new pictures were and they were laughing at me for being so buggy, or I guess antsy is the term used. I started to get upset that I was being mad fun of, and how dare they do that to me, and thinking, I'll just show them, I won't even check their blog anymore or be interested in what they are doing. Although I thought I'll check it, I'll just not let them know that I am checking it. And the longer I went on with that kind of thinking the lower I was feeling. I finally sort of kicked myself in the butt and told myself to cut it out that no one was meaning to upset me, I was only hurting myself in holding this grudge, they didn't even know that I was feeling hurt. So just let it go and once again be happy for my daughter and not be going lower into the bad feelings. Boy sometimes I can be so stupid. I caught myself doing this a while back and you would think that I would have learnt from that but I didn't, I had to do it again. Maybe next time I won't take as long to remember.
Now on the lighter side. I went shopping the other day. My mom had given me money for my b-day and so an opportunity to spend money. But I can't find anything that I really like. I can't wait for these big wild prints to go back out of style. But before that I couldn't wait for the manufactures to start making tops longer, as I do like them to come down past the top of my pants a ways and they do now again. But now it is these great big prints and tops that look like maternity tops. I have enough trouble with looking pregnant. But I guess at my age most people figure I'm just fat. If something is a solid color it is something so bright that it screams "look at me". People can see you coming for a mile away. I was in the dressing room trying on a couple of things I found that were not too wild and overheard someone else trying on clothes. Her mother had brought her in something to try on that I did not see as I was trying on clothes at the time. I heard her tell her mother that they were too bright for her. I thought someone just like me. She did not want to be seen coming for a mile away either. Then her mom asked if she wanted a white shirt and she said she was not responsible enough for white. I thought oh what a kindred soul and I didn't even know her or I couldn't see her either. I had never thought about it as being responsible enough for white, but that is me. But I guess I am not really responsible enough for any color then as far as that goes. Maybe I should look into some of those great big prints as maybe it would hide my irresponsibility.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Oh what a day!
Starting off a day of work (only a half day) after being in trainings all last week with all kinds of wonderful issues coming up through the week that really needed my attention was rough. I always have a hard time when I have so much going on to figure out where to start, it is just too overwhelming.
With crazy things going on at the state level to cut expenses at our clients expense that can't do without what they are getting gets so frustrating. I'm trying to take what I've tried to put into practice in my own personal life into practice with my job. I've taken on the motto of "Thank you God for opportunities to grow". It has really helped alot in my life to realize that God is not going to give me more then I can handle and that he does use all things together for good. I may not ever see the good but I have to trust that he does what he has promised in his word. This has lifted so much of the stress that I feel in my personal life. Now I have to stop worrying so much about my clients that everything will be OK. Maybe this will get some other people in their lives to take on a little more responsibility that they should already be doing if we can not do as much for them.
There has got to be a reason that I am still doing this job. It is not like I haven't done a lot to try to get out of it. Sometimes I feel like there must be a lesson to be learned here and then maybe I can move on. We were discussing at the training last week about what would happen if the average age people started to live to was 100. What things would have to change and all. We determined that retirement would have to be raised to probably about 80. The first thing that I thought of was that meant I would need to do my job for another 28 years and would be there for 35 years. That was almost too much to even think about. I joked that I could go from being a Case Manager to being the client. It may take me 35 years to learn to have patience at this job. I sure hope not.
With crazy things going on at the state level to cut expenses at our clients expense that can't do without what they are getting gets so frustrating. I'm trying to take what I've tried to put into practice in my own personal life into practice with my job. I've taken on the motto of "Thank you God for opportunities to grow". It has really helped alot in my life to realize that God is not going to give me more then I can handle and that he does use all things together for good. I may not ever see the good but I have to trust that he does what he has promised in his word. This has lifted so much of the stress that I feel in my personal life. Now I have to stop worrying so much about my clients that everything will be OK. Maybe this will get some other people in their lives to take on a little more responsibility that they should already be doing if we can not do as much for them.
There has got to be a reason that I am still doing this job. It is not like I haven't done a lot to try to get out of it. Sometimes I feel like there must be a lesson to be learned here and then maybe I can move on. We were discussing at the training last week about what would happen if the average age people started to live to was 100. What things would have to change and all. We determined that retirement would have to be raised to probably about 80. The first thing that I thought of was that meant I would need to do my job for another 28 years and would be there for 35 years. That was almost too much to even think about. I joked that I could go from being a Case Manager to being the client. It may take me 35 years to learn to have patience at this job. I sure hope not.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Thoughts for today
Hey, here I am, wondering what crazy thing I am starting here. Will anyone else even want to read anything I have to say. Probably not, but here goes anyway.
Should I be serious or silly here. Should I talk about politics. That is a scary subject.
Where am I right now. Empty nesting. Jennifer away on a missions trip in California and then moving there in August to teach 2nd grade. Boy California that is a long way from home. But this will not be home anymore for her California will be home. This will be a place for her to come and visit from time to time and then go back home. I think that makes my job as far as raising her as being done. I will always be her mom and probably put in my two cents worth more then she will want me too, but just because they grow up and move away does not mean that you are no longer mom. Heather and her husband Randy are building a house in Lafayette now that he is done with College. That means they are not going to be moving back closer to "home". That means that that is home also and not here. Here is just where they come and visit. I try hard not to put my two cents worth in there too much. But hey they did listen to my two cents worth about putting an outlet in the island of their kitchen. Hey Hey, mom's not too dumb yet.
About being dumb, I do feel as though I am losing it some. Maybe early signs of Alzheimer's. I turned 52 yesterday. Boy that sounds old. I had to sit in on a training for work about aging. Could you imagine sitting in on discussions of aging on your 52nd birthday. They were talking to a lot of us at all ages, I was probably one of the oldest in the room. I'm sure the young ones had no clue as they thought all of this was so far in the future for them and I was relating to it. As they talked about all the physical things that happen to you, I thought hey that is starting for me already.
Hey this is kind of fun, even if no one reads it. I am just impressed that I learned how to do this. At least this far, I don't know if I will be sucessful in getting this posted or not and will I be able to get back into it to post again. Time will tell.
Should I be serious or silly here. Should I talk about politics. That is a scary subject.
Where am I right now. Empty nesting. Jennifer away on a missions trip in California and then moving there in August to teach 2nd grade. Boy California that is a long way from home. But this will not be home anymore for her California will be home. This will be a place for her to come and visit from time to time and then go back home. I think that makes my job as far as raising her as being done. I will always be her mom and probably put in my two cents worth more then she will want me too, but just because they grow up and move away does not mean that you are no longer mom. Heather and her husband Randy are building a house in Lafayette now that he is done with College. That means they are not going to be moving back closer to "home". That means that that is home also and not here. Here is just where they come and visit. I try hard not to put my two cents worth in there too much. But hey they did listen to my two cents worth about putting an outlet in the island of their kitchen. Hey Hey, mom's not too dumb yet.
About being dumb, I do feel as though I am losing it some. Maybe early signs of Alzheimer's. I turned 52 yesterday. Boy that sounds old. I had to sit in on a training for work about aging. Could you imagine sitting in on discussions of aging on your 52nd birthday. They were talking to a lot of us at all ages, I was probably one of the oldest in the room. I'm sure the young ones had no clue as they thought all of this was so far in the future for them and I was relating to it. As they talked about all the physical things that happen to you, I thought hey that is starting for me already.
Hey this is kind of fun, even if no one reads it. I am just impressed that I learned how to do this. At least this far, I don't know if I will be sucessful in getting this posted or not and will I be able to get back into it to post again. Time will tell.
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